We Are Enough ❤️

Happy Monday! 

Friends, I may have struck a nerve when I posted that Cole Kazdin (a member of my Instagram and online cooking community) sent me her newest book, What’s Eating Us: Women, Food and the Epidemic of Body Anxiety. Her book documents the struggle that women of all ages have with disordered eating, body anxiety, and/or our preoccupation with food.  I received A LOT of DM’s.  If you are triggered by any discussion about disordered eating, you may want to skip today’s newsletter.

It made me think about myriad conversations I have had with many, many female friends over the decades and even in the last few days about just that - what they’re eating and avoiding, what is “working,” disgust with themselves for “overeating” last weekend and their lack of self-control, inability to find enjoyment in eating (if you enjoy it, it’s probably bad for you), and general obsessiveness about losing weight/achieving one’s ideal weight at all costs. One of my friends joked recently, “if we all weren’t obsessed with losing weight, what would we talk about?” Hmmmm…….

I am not here to discuss the psychology behind women’s obsessiveness and I am certainly not qualified to offer any solutions. And even if I were qualified, we are all in different places emotionally and physically, so a blanket “solution” would be inappropriate.  But I acknowledge the problem and it makes me sad. And concerned.  Am I so confident and strong that I don’t think about these things like 90% of American women do? Nope. In fact, I am kind of bummed out that after I hit menopause a year and a half ago, I gained a few pounds and haven’t taken it off yet. I don’t think I look terrible, but I don’t think I look great either. But I am not going to starve myself, eliminate food groups, eat like a particular celebrity does, work out 3 times a day, or practice negative self talk. Not doing it.

Here’s what I am doing to help myself focus on my priorities which are feeling strong, having energy, being able to take long walks, exercise, and play pickleball, and invest in my future self:

• Tuning out people whose messaging does not align with mine. I do not listen to “influencers” about health and wellness. I really like following a few dieticians who make sense to me: Anthea Levi @alivewellnutrition, Jenny Jiles @jennyjiles, Abby Langer @langernutrition (has a bit of a potty mouth, but I look past it) to name a few.

• Eating more for breakfast. Not only have I never been a breakfast skipper, now I am eating more and including more protein. I find that it keeps me more satiated and my blood sugar more stable throughout the morning. Stable blood sugar is a goal and not controversial.

• Talk to myself as if I am talking to a good friend.  Negative self talk is so harmful and we’re doing it to ourselves!!!  I have struggled with not meeting my own expectations and not doing things really well, and comparing myself to others. Practicing more compassionate self talk has been very helpful.  I recently heard this clip between Peter Attia and Andrew Huberman on Huberman’s podcast about how Attia changed his inner voice and it really resonated with me!

• Focusing more on strength training and less on cardio.  Exercise is a non-negotiable for me and not because it burns calories.  It benefits every system and organ in the body (especially the brain) and is linked with less of everything you don’t want.  That said, I am learning more and more about the importance of building and keeping muscle as we age. If you have Instagram, this post by Mark’s Daily Apple is succinct.

• Make decisions from a place of love.  I’ve been saying this for years, but I needed to remind myself that this applies to myself too. I need to love and respect myself first.

• Not commenting about what people are eating, doing, trying. I was at a party once and I was offered some chocolate cake.  It didn’t look great to me and I was full, so I said, “no thanks.” The woman who offered it to me replied in front of other people, “wow, you’ve got some willpower.” Note to self: it’s totally inappropriate to comment on someone else’s eating. 

Someone shared with me a New York Times article Cole wrote a decade ago that really touched her, “Chubby, Skinny, Accepting.” 

I loved Andie McDowell’s interview with Katie Couric about her decision to age naturally, as well as Justine Bateman’s interview with “60 Minutes Australia” about embracing aging and rejecting societal pressure on women to essentially stall aging.

If you are brand new to weight training, me too.  But I’m figuring it out. I don’t know what machines to use at the gym, how many reps, what “leg day” means, but I will not be discouraged.  Thank goodness for YouTube, my resource for learning everything I don’t know and in the privacy of my home.  I have been doing beginner strength training workouts from Pamela Reif, GrowingAnnanas, SeniorShape Fitness  (for very beginners) .

Vergali Booty Bands I’ve been working out with a friend and we were complaining about traditional booty bands and how they cut off your circulation and roll all over the place. A trainer friend of mine shared these with me and WOW.  Game changer!  They stay put and are so comfortable.

Finished Lessons in Chemistry (very much enjoyed it) and started Demon Copperhead - I’m already hooked. I love Barbara Kingsolver.

As always, I love hearing from you and learning from you.  Please share your thoughts and resources if it feels right to you.  And I think you’re beautiful!

If you enjoy learning from me, I’d love to have you in my monthly cooking class community!  My new April class is up and it’s a fabulous healthy Tex-Mex theme.  Check it out here.

xxPamela